September 26, 2016 BY imani leave a comment
Sex can be an uncomfortable topic to talk about with a new partner.
Even asking a boyfriend or girlfriend to get tested prior to the act can be intimidating, because many people don’t know where to start. It is a sensitive subject and may result in hurt feelings if someone takes it the wrong way or thinks you are trying to imply that they are dirty. But sexual health is too important to ignore, so here are some tips on how do you get the conversation started.
When you actually get the courage to sit down and ask someone to get tested, it can leave you feeling vulnerable, and often times the first response one might receive back is a defensive one. To ensure they do not feel offended, take a soft approach. Let them know the last time you were tested, and offer to go get tested together. If you put yourself out there and show that you’re willing to take the brave walk with them, then you stand a better chance of getting them to follow through.
If your new partner is reluctant, you can remind them that anyone who has sex can get an STI or STD. And many infections have no signs or symptoms, so the only way to know if you have been infected is to get tested. If the person is still resistant to getting tested, remind yourself that if they keep a closed eye on their own health then you should expect a duplicate behavior when it comes to your life, and it may not be a good idea to engage in sexual activity with them at all.
Another way is to position your request is as a basic health issue. Just like exercise or preventative cancer screenings, getting tested for STDs is simply another way to protect BOTH of you. You most likely check your blood pressure and cholesterol regularly, so why not your STD status as well?
If you know without a doubt that your current partner is your future baby’s daddy or mommy, lead your discussion with talk of family planning. As the conversation progresses, add an STD-related fact. For example, you could mention that an unchecked case of Chlamydia can lead to infertility in both men and women. The conversation will then take a natural turn, and you’ll be able to discuss testing with ease.
Shake off your discomfort and tell your partner that both of you need to get tested. There’s no sugarcoating it. Talking about sex and sexual health can sometimes be difficult, awkward even, especially with a new partner, but opening those lines of communication is important for both of you. You’ll be setting a tone of trust and respect early on. Your partner will also likely appreciate that you raised the subject. And if not, it is your responsibility to convince your partner that getting tested simply isn’t up for debate. Stand firm and tell them that you no longer feel comfortable having sex with them, and will be keeping your cookie to yourself until you’ve both received your results. It’s that simple.
The CDC recommends annual testing for all sexually active individuals between the ages of 13 and 65. Sexual orientation and relationship status are non-factors. MASS will be hosting a special community testing event and talent show on Saturday, October 16, where you and your partner can come have a fun date and get tested TOGETHER. Join Us at the Deloris Miller Community Center starting at 5pm!
Contracting an STD or STI can very easily become a matter of life and death. Anyone can get infected, so everyone should get tested. End of discussion.